The dentist was called away from the dinner table to take an
urgent phone call. It was Mr. Tuckerman, explaining that young
Junior had gotten himself into quite a fix.
"See, he was kissing his girlfriend, and when my wife and I came
back from the movies we found them stuck together."
"I'll come right over, Mr. Tuckerman," said the dentist calmly,
"and don't worry about a thing. I have to unlock teenagers' braces
all the time."
Mr. Tuckerman whispered, "Yes, but from an IUD?"
Brought to you by
http://www.jokes2go.com
______________________________________________________
'Mr.
Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully,' the divorce court
Judge said, 'And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week,'
'That's very fair, your honor,' the husband said. 'And every now and then
I'll try to send her a few bucks myself.'
________________________________________
A
doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to the Emergency Room, took
the husband aside, and said, 'I don't like the looks of your wife at all.'
'Me neither doc,' said the husband.
'But she's a great cook and really good with the kids.'
__________________________________
An
old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has
been living with for the last 40 years.
The Wizard says, 'Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that
were used to put the curse on you.'
The old man says without hesitation, 'I now pronounce you man and wife.'
____________________________________________________________
Two
Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder:
1. The DNA all matches.
2. There are no dental records.
____________________________________________
A blonde
calls Delta Airlines and asks, 'Can you tell me how long it'll take
to fly from San Francisco to New York City ?'
The agent replies, 'Just a minute.'
'Thank you,' the blonde says, and hangs up.
_______________________________________________________________
A
blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, 'Can you tell me how long it'll take
to fly from San Francisco to New York City ?'
The agent replies, 'Just a minute.'
'Thank you,' the blonde says, and hangs up.
____________________________________________________________
Moe:
'My wife got me to believe in religion.'
Joe: 'Really?'
Moe: 'Yeah. Until I married her I didn't believe in Hell.'
___________________________________________________________
A
man is recovering from surgery when the surgical nurse appears and asks
him how he is feeling.
'I'm O. K. but I didn't like the four letter-words the doctor used in
surgery,' he answered.
'What did he say,' asked the nurse.
'Oops!'
_________________________________________________________
While
shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of
bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I had
even considered buying a bathing suit, so I sought my husband's advice.
'What do you think?' I asked. 'Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?'
'Better get a bikini,' he replied. 'You'd never get it all in one.'
He's still in intensive care.
__________________________________________________________-
The
graveside service just barely finished, when there was massive clap of
thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even
more thunder rumbling in the distance.
The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, 'Well, she's there
